Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Sarah Palin "Wrote" a Christmas Book

It's been ignored for far too long by the lame-stream media, as we've all been too preoccupied with the Iraq War and terrorism. Another war waged right here in America from sea to shining sea. It's the War on Christmas, and thankfully Sarah Palin-Kardashian wrote a book about it.

I was right in the middle of this war, member of the Sugar Plum Battalion, where I lost 3 of my toes before returning home. I also now have a glass eye from when my squadron was assaulted during the infamous Candy Cane Offensive. I fought alongside some brave men and women, and there are also stories of heroism, which I hope Ms. Palin will touch upon.

One morning we woke up to see a swarm of turtle doves above us, what must have been hundreds. This was odd, but nobody thought much of it. Then it happened. Out from the clouds came an explosion of gingerbread, crashing down towards the Earth (which was littered with gingerbread and gum drops as far as the eye could see.) The atheists had struck at the very heart of us. It could have been disaster if not for the brave souls who quickly moved us into a forest of Douglas Firs, which softened much of the blow to leave us with some scrapes but nothing more. The nazi's who dare say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" may have knocked us down a few times, but we just got back up time and again.

Speaking of Sarah Palin, of course she would give her two cents on the whole Phil Robertson/Duck Dynasty-A&E thing. Why can't people mind their own business? This whole thing about "Stomping all over our freedom of speech!" is entirely misguided, and for people like Palin just an attention seeking moment to keep her name in the press. The first Amendment protects us from being persecuted by the US Government...it doesn't protect anyone from being criticized by people who disagree. It also doesn't protect reality TV stars, who are locked under contracts that basically makes them owned by the network. A&E is not the government, they are allowed to do what they want as well. And I may completely disagree with Robertson, but I don't think he should be fired. The over-reactions to these situations from both sides can be quite annoying.

I'm just wondering where all this uproar was when Martin Bashir was fired by CNN for his lewd & controversial comments about Sarah Palin? And then Bristol Palin comes out and says the gay community and its supporters are hypocritical. Wow, really? What's hypocritical is the convenience the Palins have of acting like they are this high and mighty holy family that lives by the Bible and is better than everyone because of it. Apparently the part about having pre-marital sex and getting knocked up as an unwed teenager, then forced to get engaged and put on a fake smile with Levi Johnston to try and save face during her mothers failed Vice Presidential run is okay? Talk about hypocrisy... And hey, did you know that there are 29 states where it is technically legal for a person to be fired for being gay? If the Palins are all about "Freedom for all", I find it curious they aren't working to change those laws. You know, since they are so concerned with freedom. Or maybe that's only when it suits their interests and beliefs? Mhm, though so.

Sarah Palin has another reality show on the horizon for 2014 as the Palins continue their battle with the Kardashians for most overexposed reality tv personalities.

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