Snooki vs. Tanorexic Mom

The Oompa Loompas are running amok in New Jersey. Snooki recently called Patricia Krentcil, aka Tanorexic Mom, a "crazy bitch."  Krentcil fired back and called Snooki the "biggest asshole in the world" and went on to say, "she's fake, she's fat, her t*ts are fake and she's disgusting." So eloquent. Willy Wonka has quite the feud on his hand here. I'd have to side with Snooki for once though. Krentcil also said her critics are "fat, ugly and jealous" of her. She's one step closer to that TLC reality show i'm betting she gets.

As expected, Krentcil was spoofed on Saturday Night Live by SNL vet Kristen Wiig, who came out with orange skin that had smoke rising around it from being freshly fake baked. Watch the funny and fairly spot on impression below. And speaking of Kristen Wiig, this could possibly be her final season on SNL.

Paris Hilton Needs Attention

An awful "song" called Drunk Text by Paris Hilton recently leaked. If Snooki having a baby wasn't a sign of the apocalypse, this "song" (I use that word very loosely) sure is. This is probably just some clever way to get her name back out there, with someone in her camp leaking it on purpose. We hadn't heard her name in a while actually. It comes from the school of Rebecca Black's "Friday", so awful that it's entertaining and funny. Be warned: after watching/listening to Drunk Text, your IQ will plummet. And the video might actually transmit an STD through your computer, so be careful. Thanks Paris.

Just as Lindsay Lohan seems to be living a quiet(er) life and trying to make a comeback by hosting SNL and starring in an Elizabeth Taylor TV movie, we have Paris Hilton claw her way back into our conscience with something outrageous.

I just wonder if there is anyone out there who actually heard this "song" and enjoyed it and thought it was good. There has to be at least one person. I feel sorry for that person. Before you watch, I should warn that you might want to rip your ears off, then run them over with a car after macing your own eyes. Listen to it and watch the vapid video below: