Justin Bieber Gets A DUI; World Celebrates

Following in the footsteps of Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber was arrested for a DUI after drag racing in Miami Beach, Florida. He had alcohol, weed, and prescription drugs in his system. The feeling I got upon hearing this news was akin to when I heard that Osama Bin Laden had been caught and Kim Jong-Il died. Hopefully the judge makes him go to jail until he completes puberty in about 5 years. #DeportBieber has been trending on Twitter, as well as #FreeJustinBieber. The #FreeJustinBieber is mainly: 1. Teen/tween girls. or 2. People wondering why its trending, therefore causing it to do so more. #DeportBieber is winning. Please deport him to North Korea if possible.

Take a look at the mugshot, where he seems all happy:

Bieber would make a great prison bitch, as evidenced by the look on his face while being faced with the judge, no longer so happy:

In an update, surveillance video of the police chasing his drag racing car has been released. He's not very good at it. 

Honey Boo Boo Child Parody

"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" is the latest trashy reality TV show to take the airwaves by storm on TLC. If you're a fan of the show or if you absolutely hate the show, you should enjoy the above parody of 6-year-old Honey Boo Boo and her mom, which takes place 25 years in the future. I actually think this is a pretty good representation of what will happen to them.

By the way, Honey Boo Boo is going to be an aunt to her teen sister's baby. She's six and will be an aunt. Let that sink in a moment. Apparently they don't know how to use condoms. Hopefully they keep the "Go Go Juice" away from the baby.

The above picture of Honey Boo Boo and her mom June is going to be the star attraction at my Halloween haunted house this year. By the way, June (aka Coupon Queen) was arrested in 2008 for stealing child support payments. You can see her mugshot below, yet another candidate for best haunted house attraction this year.